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Honoured

I came home this evening to find an email letting me know that I'm now officially enrolled on the ADF Clergy Training Program. I wasn't expecting it till next month; quite a week this has been on the priestly front! It is truly an honour, and I will do everything in my power to be worthy of it.

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I'd been feeling slightly out of sorts all week. My former Spiral Sisters and Brothers on the Priestess of Avalon training made their Dedication vows last weekend, and their Facebook pages became visible reminders that they have (of course, and rightly) moved on without me. Monday was a difficult anniversary. Wednesday saw me facilitating a spot of catharsis for a group of colleagues, which is one of those times I love my job, but also end up exhausted and cranky if I'm not careful.

My Autumn Equinox itself began inauspiciously with an unexpected wake-up call that took me away from home for the rest of the morning. By the time I got back, still unshowered, I really wasn't in the mood for ritual. But not doing it after taking the day off specially would have left me feeling flat, so I went upstairs to run a ceremonial bath and get robed, figuring I'd at least go through the motions.

Turned out Bodua had other ideas. I got as far as the Prayer of Sacrifice smoothly enough; then I got one of those Omens that make you see certain events in your life in a completely new light, so I felt the need to meditate for a while to better understand the message. It took me a while to find a position that didn't hurt my back, and I ended up sprawled on my back in what was probably a rather undignified position. Ah well, ritual doesn't have to look pretty to work...

Next thing I know, Bodua shows up; she's one of my patrons, so even though the ritual wasn't in her honour, that's not too surprising. She shows me an image of one of our previous encounters, when I took part in a rebirthing ceremony. I speak to her about my devotion to her, and then she asks me if I will be her priest/ess. I say I will, if she can assure me that it's really her asking and not wishful thinking on my part. She hands me a folded piece of cloth and tells me to wear it as often as possible. I unfold it and put it on. It's a sort of open black cardigan, in a style I actively dislike, but have to admit probably does go well over a white robe - and I know exactly where to get its physical counterpart, having scrolled past it while looking for new workwear online the day before. Yeah, okay, if this was about my wishes I wouldn't be wearing that. I promise her she'll have it; she gives me some instructions about my practice and some more that will remain private, then smiles, and withdraws. Somehow, an hour has passed.

After that it took a while to ground enough to finish the ritual, and even longer before I was capable of mundane functioning again. In fact, I'm not quite back even now; everything around me still feels vaguely unreal. Or maybe just changed.

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